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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Soul Destroying Monster

I am a good Sister. Scratch that, I am an amazing sister! I will pretty much knit my brother anything that he asks for. Now this may not sound like it makes me an amazing sister since I like knitting, so why is it so amazing of me to acquiesce to a request to knit? Well my brother doesn't ever ask for normal things like socks, beanies, scarves, no he wants funny hats. Lots and lots of funny hats. In the past I have made him a Jayne Cobb Hat, a Lumberjack Hat with THREE interchangeable mustaches, and a hat shaped like something straight from hell (These are all Rav links). This is in addition to set of convertible mittens, and a set of washcloths for his new apartment (again, Rav links). So when my brother asked me to make him the Cthulhuclava for his birthday, I agreed even though you have to pay for the pattern and as a rule, I don't like to pay for single patterns. So I bought the pattern, read through it, and promptly shoved it into the very bowels of my knitting bag because it just looked miserable. Look at this:

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That's not even half of all the ends that you have to weave in for this project. Not to mention the fact that there is more seaming than you could possibly expect from a hat (no matter how silly) and an EIGHT STITCH APPLIED I-CORD! Yes my friends, this truly is the project from hell.
So I told my brother a few little white lies about how I was diligently working on the hat, and that he would have it soon, soon, soon, soon... When, in actuality, I was cowering in fear from the very idea of even beginning. (I know this doesn't make me sound like I'm an amazing sister, but trust me, the act of knitting this how, no matter how late it ended up being, make me some sort of goddess I'm pretty sure.

Here's what the hat looks like when it feels like you're almost done but really you have way more to go than you possible care to imagine:

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(The flipping off of the camera was not intentional, though it may have been a subconscious reaction to the hat...)

Finally, here's what the hat looks like when all is said (read sworn) and done:

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If you know anything about Cthulhu, you know that he is a crazy sea-monster-type creature from the twisted brain of H. P. Lovecraft. If humans hear his call they instantly go insane. The creator of the pattern I'm sure had this in mind when she was writing it because I was feeling a bit wacko there at the end.

In other good/disturbing news, Stash Inventory 2009 is complete. Every ball of yarn I own is now accounted for in my Ravelry stash. It is both a beautiful and terrible sight. After taking a long hard look at how much yarn I actually have I decided that I would not buy yarn until at least 2010 because, really, it's a bit obscene how much yarn I have. Not two days later, my dad asked me to make him a hat in colors that I don't have in my stash... Seriously, the world is out to destroy my soul.

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